losergonewild (losergonewild) wrote in wild_west_hero,
losergonewild
losergonewild
wild_west_hero

NECROMANCING IN COMMENCING!

HEY YOU KIDS, WHAT'S UP WITH DIS? I FINALLY FIND A COMMUNITY THAT ISN'T ABOUT GAY SLASHING ROCK BANDS THAT MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN CAN SLISH TO, AND THIS ONE HASN'T BEEN UPDATED IN 3 YEARS OR SO.

I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED!

IF ANYONE CAN HEAR ME, I HAVE A VERY INTERESTING QUESTION THAT IS IN DESPERATE NEED OF ANSWERING.

IMAGINE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAS TOOK PLACE, AND OUR DEAREST JEFF LYNNE TURNED INTO ONE, OKAY? OKAY. NOW, IT'S COMMON ZOMBIE LAW THAT THE VIRUS/INFECTION/BACTERIA/DISEASE IS SPREAD THROUGH A VICTIM BEING BITTEN AND THE ONLY WAY TO KILL A ZOMBIE IS TO SHOOT ITS BRAINS OUT OR HIT IT WITH A BLUNT OBJECT. IT'S FACT.

DON'T QUESTION IT.

BACK TO THE QUESTION: WHAT WOULD YOU DO? WOULD YOU PROCEED TO HAVING DELIGHTFUL KILLING SPREES REGARDLESS OF ZOMBIE'S PREVIOUS FAME-LIKE STATE WHILE IT WAS ALIVE, OR WOULD YOU RATHER WANT TO DIE IN THE HANDS OF SOMEONE ONCE FAMOUS?

DECIDE NOW! IF NO ONE ANSWERS THIS, I WILL BE SAD.

TERRIBLY SAD.
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WELL, IF YOU BASHED HIS TEETH OUT WITHOUT KILLING HIM, HE'D BECOME UNABLE TO BITE AND THUS HE'D BE HARMLESS.

I DID NOT KNOW THERE WAS A CAPSLOCK ELO COMMUNITY. IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
AH, BUT YOU MUST BE FORGETTING SOMETHING. WHAT IF JEFF LYNNE ZOMBIE SANG AS A ZOMBIE? INSTEAD OF "EVIL WOMAN", YOU GET "DELIGHTFUL BRAINS". BASHING HIS TEETH OUT WOULD RUIN THIS WONDEROUS SINGING TALENT.

SO WOULD MANAGING TO CAGE HIM BE MORE SUITABLE?

AND, THIS COMMUNITY IS A SWELL IDEA. IT COMBINES MY THREE FAVORITE THINGS: ELO, CAPSLOCK, AND ZOMBIES.

I ENJOY IT.
PERHAPS. BUT THEN HE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE 8967 YEARS TO RECORD ALBUMS IN HIS HOME.
DAMMIT, THIS IS DIFFICULT. HOW CAN YOU RECORD SOMEONE SINGING WHEN THEY ARE ALSO TRYING TO EAT YOU?

MAYBE TEETH REMOVAL WOULD BE IDEAL.
OR MAYBE WE COULD MUZZLE HIM? BUT THAT DOESN'T SOLVE THE SINGING PROBLEM.
PERHAPS IF WE JUST EDITED OUT THE PRODUCER'S TERRIFYING SCREAMS WHILE JEFFY BEAUTIFULLY SINGS, "YUM, DELISH. YOU ARE MY DISH!"?

OR PERHAPS KEEPING THE SCREAMS IN WILL ADD TO THE HORROR WHILE 13-YEAR OLD HOT TOPIC-WEARING GAWFIC BOYS FLOCK TO BUY HIS NEW HARDCORE ALBUM.

THIS CONVERSATION IS CERTAINLY INTERESTING.
WE ARE FORGETTING SOMETHING HERE.

JEFF IS HIS OWN PRODUCER. IT'S OTHER MUSICIANS WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT.
THEN HERE IS A SIMPLE SOLUTION, DEAR FRIEND.

WE SHALL HAVE HIS BAND RECORDING SEPARATELY SO THEY DO NOT HAVE TO BE TRAPPED IN THE SAME ROOM.

HOWEVER, PUTTING THEM IN THE SAME ROOM CAN RESULT IN SOME REALLY REALISTIC SCREAMING!
YOU ALSO FORGET THAT HE IS PRETTY MUCH HIS OWN BAND. SO THAT'S MORE OR LESS FINE. BUT IF POOR UNSUSPECTING RINGO DECIDES TO GO OUT TO DINNER WITH HIM - BAM! MORE ZOMBIES.

HE COULD BE QUITE AN ASSET TO MARILYN MANSON OR WHOEVER, THOUGH.
HOLY SHIT, IMAGINE THE UNDEAD WILBURYS! (GUEST APPEARANCE BY MARILYN MANSON) THIS WOULD BE THE MOST EXCELLENT THING EVER BECAUSE SINCE THEY ARE UNDEAD, WE CAN HAVE UNDEAD MUSIC TO LAST FOREVER...


WAIIIIITTTT..

CAN ZOMBIES PLAY GUITAR?
BUT GEORGE AND ROY ARE DEAD. HOW COULD THEY BECOME UNDEAD?

THEY CAN, I THINK. MIGHT BE A BIT SLOW, BUT NOTHING THAT CAN'T BE FIXED IN EDITING.

WELL SADLY, IT CAN ONLY BE RE-UNITED WITH THE THREE MEMBERS LEFT: TOMMY, BOBBY, AND JEFFY. STILL, ANY OF THESE MUSICIANS ALONE WOULD BE GREAT! PERHAPS THE UNDEAD WILBURYS COULD BRING A RISE TO NEW TALENTS? ONES THAT ARE GOOD THOUGH, NO BROKENCYDE OR SOULJA BOI, PLEASE.

MAYBE HAVING LONG, SLOW SONGS WOULD BE PERFECT FOR A HALLOWEEN ALBUM. IMAGINE ALL THE THREE YEAR OLDS PEEING THEMSELVES, RUNNING IN FEAR BECAUSE OF THE MUSIC PLAYING!!
BUT BY THAT LOGIC THEIR ALBUMS WOULD TAKE 10 TIMES LONGER TO RECORD. NOBODY WOULD BE ABLE TO WAIT THE INTERVAL BETWEEN JEFF'S ALBUMS.

I WOULD TOTALLY BUY THAT ALBUM.
PEOPLE HAVE THUS FAR BEEN PATIENT WITH JEFF'S 20-YEAR AND COUNTING INTERVAL BETWEEN ARMCHAIR THEATRE AND HIS CURRENT ONE COMING OUT. I THINK PEOPLE WILL BE EXTRA PATIENT FOR ZOMBIE ALBUMS!
BUT HIS CURRENT FANS MAY BE DEAD BY THE TIME HIS NEXT ALBUM COMES OUT.
13 YEAR OLD GOTHIC BOYS LAST A LONG TIME. THEY ARE VAMPIRES, REMEMBER?